That is it though

2014-01-24 | 2:57 a.m.

What are you afraid of?
Taking a step
That I cannot take back.
Will you never walk again?
I only stumble slowly-
An anxious lilting gait.
What do you think will happen?
That I will fall into quicksand;
I will disappoint my existence;
That whatever good I find will choke me to tears and run away with all my breath.
What are you afraid of?
That I do not know myself.
What are you afraid of?
No one will know myself.
What are you afraid of?
Danger, disease, pain and suffering.
What are you afraid of?
I am AFRAID. Because I don't know what I'm supose to do with life and me and everything.
And I am very afraid that I never will.
I am afraid... That I have wasted 29 years of oxygen, money, carbon, food and chances to feel anything worth feeling.
Because I can't see the human race properly.
I can hear so clear but I can't speak.
I bleed for the simplest requests.
I am a slave to everyone.
Too much time has passed and I don't remember who I am, what I like, what I'm good at and why I should ever try.
Despite hiding, sleeping, staying in rooms for days... The steps keep lurching.
Sinking my feet.
Slowing to oblivion.
Millions of steps I can never take back...
Please, don't make me move again.
I can't be sure it's right, I can't be sure of anything.
The more I struggle, the more I sink...

What are you afraid of?
Taking a step
Ever small, ever fateful
That I cannot take back.
And I will fail.
I will fall.
And I will live and die
Alone.