then came the rush

2009-08-03 | 4:31 a.m.

when i close my eyes
i am laying on clean sheets
the hue of dusk
stains the walls
and the stillness
misleads.
i am magnetic.
rising tension
ineffable potential
and sweet childish trepidation
burn the oxygen
flushing my cheeks
setting every cell to hysterics.
electric air moves in
and out of my lungs.
a shadow above
sweeps in like a flood
slowly covering me.
the comfortable
heaviness of a human
indents the bed
enveloping
embracing
and descending upon me,
falls perfectly into place.
the clouds break
and i rain
falling to pieces
scattering...
but he finds me
with his eyes
he collects me
with his hands
he revives me
with his mouth.
i am whole
i am weak
he lends me his breath
his strength.
my arms reach out
i fall into the ocean
underneath him
to rise with the waves
deftly sliding
weightless
rising with him.
the rhythm echoes
under my fingertips
safe, starving, meaningful:
i am finally alive.

and if i cry
its for resolution
and if i cry
its for joy
and if i cry
no one will know
because i am salt
in the sea.