let the girl come down

2010-01-01 | 4:26 a.m.

i could not breathe
in 2010
and i screamed alone
in my car.
i am the only one,
i told myself,
who is sitting here
weeping
nails scratching
my roof.
gasping.
the only one who wants to set their claws to their home, to the homes, to the buildings, to tear it all down.
if i can't have it, no one else should.
and i cried like
a
fucking
baby...
gasping.
i rambled and slurred words.
feeling unBELIEVably
stupid
and obsurd.
no one else...
i. told. my. self.
i crumbled
on the floor.
gasping.
this is it

the newest year.

and i want nothing
but to
go back
and be swept up
in arms.
i don't want to cry alone
anymore
but i will until
i am
swept up
in arms.

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