fb n fk

2010-01-09 | 6:00 p.m.

oh when i go
i'll probably see several people that i know
and they'll see me, and they'll hug me
they will tell me that i'm funny
and that they don't see me enough
at these sort of shows.
all the art is on display
and people pretend to know
what to look for...
and my friends
will pretend not to know
what to look for...
but they're looking for a piece of ass
to facebook and fuck
and they'll be looking at them.
not i. i'll be drinking. trying to stay warm. trying to be funny. trying to look like i ain't tryin at all.
and i don't think i want to go.
i have no patience in my bones.
lapsing into these fits-
where i am doing the most mundane things and then suddenly i lose all my air and i'm gasping. i convulse into weeping simultaneously and compose myself within a minute or two and finish whatever is at hand.
its hard to watch myself do this,
if at the the time i happen to look in the mirror,
and not fall to my knees in abandon.
but as soon as i lose it-
i grab it all and stuff it back in.
now i feel like i'm dripping everywhere i go.
like little bits of me are falling out faster than i can pick them up.
and i'm afraid someone will see
though i can count those who care on no hands.
the friends and family in my life have no time or patience for me, as i have none for myself.
and if i let something slip
i fear that would be the end.

sob to stoic
and no one. NO ONE. has ever
seen me.

work on your management skills | promote

synergy
signed documents
memos
mail
company heresy
The Man
corporation